I truly cannot believe how fast time has gone by, it seems like yesterday when we were at our freshman orientation meeting. Now our days and nights are consumed with college paperwork, graduation things, and homework. My days lately are also consumed with a mixed bag of emotions, joy, hope, gratitude, and worse of all sadness and fear.
The only way to really sum it up is.... Senior year is a bittersweet year! You are happy, relieved and grateful when they get accepted into the college of their choice, but then sad they are leaving the nest. For me not only am I sad, I am scared. I know a lot of you may not understand this but I do know my CMT parents will totally get it. What happens if the disease progresses again? Will he be able to walk the campus? How will his pain affect him? What if his diaphragm gets worse? I can go on and on. My biggest fear is the disease will progress and he is all alone.
As a mother of a child with a neuromuscular disease, you never know when the "bad" days are going to happen. When the pain is so bad they simply cannot move out of the bed or chair they are in. When they are so tired they just can't keep walking or just need some rest. Who is going to rub his legs or make sure he is taking his medication or using his bipap machine? Make him hot cocoa when he is having a bad day?
So many questions and no answers.....Again, Momma Hayes needs to let go. I am not in control, He is. As Carter seems to be pointing out to me more and more. .I guess thinking about it now, I do know that he is never alone because he walks with God everyday. Our Heavenly Father will walk this new path with him, hold his hand through the bumpy road ahead and lay His hand on Carter when he needs strength.
Why do I worry so? Why do I doubt my faith sometimes? Why do I still loose sleep thinking did I teach him everything he needs to know? Well that's simple...NO! I know a lot of you are going to think I am even crazier than I already am but I have started a list of things to teach him or life lessons to share. Things NOT to do! I try to tick at least one off a day....yeah maybe one off every couple of days. Things like how to tie a tie, how to never mix whites and colors, how to balance a bank account and how not to make the same mistakes I did! Such a fine line to walk, you want them to have fun at college but you also don't want them make major mistakes.
I had coffee yesterday with one of my girlfriends and her son is a senior as well. We were talking about how it seems like yesterday that we were freshman moms, thinking oh we have 4 more years.....No problem that's plenty of time. How you blink an eye and they are 18 and leaving us. How so badly I want to rewind and hold onto every single moment. Tears start flowing as we reminisce and I think to myself I wish I would have cherished the time with him more. I can't go back.....
I am proud of the young man he has become, I am so very grateful to have him as my son. Does he know how very much I love him? Does he know that when he leaves I will be happy, proud and sad all at once. He is my guardian angel, that I have no doubt about. Carter, I love you more than you will ever know. I fall in love with you more and more as time goes by. I am so proud of the way you have handled everything in your life. You are inspiring. You teach me how to have courage. You make me want to be the best mom I can be. I LOVE YOU BUDDY!
Cherish you kids, don't let life get in the way. Laugh often, don't sweat the small stuff, cuddle, hug them, pray over and for them, tell them you love them, take lots of pictures, turn off the electronics and just talk to them, listen to them (quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger-James 1:19), live in the moment and make sure to tell them how proud of them you are.
Until next time......................"When I am afraid, I will trust in you" Psalm 56:3
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Progression-the words you never want to hear
I am taking a few steps backwards today due to some of my followers emailing me and asking what happened between September and now? What happened is PROGRESSION! The word none of us wants to hear when it is associated with a disease. The word progression is like a 4 letter word to me. I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!
I touched on it briefly in the previous post. How in October Carter really started to complain about chest pain and like someone was sitting on his chest at times. He felt as though he could not expand his lungs. He would be in the hallway at school with a friend and felt like he couldn't get enough air, he would get lightheaded and feel dizzy. Pressure on his chest. It was happening pretty often. At the same time he was complaining that he would get sharp shooting pains in his chest. Then in November he started to take longer naps after school. Yes, I said nap....side note...People with CMT get fatigued more than us, because they have to exert more energy than us. At the same time he started to have more leg pain, arm pain and foot pain.
After numerous calls, the doctors suggested that we see a cardiologist to check his heart, since he has had chest pain on and off for a few years and it was getting worse. We went to the Cardio doc and he said nope it all checks out. Next stop, my CMT support group! Yah! I posed all of Carter's symptoms to them and low and behold I got a lot of responses back. All pointing me to a pulmonologist. Several of them told me to get him in ASAP, that his phrenic nerve (the nerve that runs from your spinal cord to your diaphragm) might be weakening. My first thought was what? CMT is not supposed to affect your breathing right? Wrong again! I found out that some forms of CMT can affect your breathing and your vocal cords!!!!!! Thank God for my support group and for them recommending a pulmonologist who knows CMT!!
We went to see Dr. V on November 20th and that's when I heard that word, the 4 letter word, PROGRESSION. As Carter and I sat in his office after the tests I remember Dr. V saying unfortunately, Carter's CMT is progressing into his diaphragm. His phrenic nerve is weakening. He is at about 1/2 of what he should be at for a guy his age on some of these tests. To be honest I don't remember how the whole conversation went, I was in shock. All I kept thinking was the diaphragm controls your breathing, your diaphragm controls your breathing, you need it to survive. Then I saw Carter's face and knew right then, I had to pull it together for the both of us. I knew he was scared and quite frankly so was I.
Dr. V told us Carter would benefit from a bipap machine at night. This would allow his diaphragm to rest at night and then he would reap the benefits during the day. He wouldn't feel so tired and hopefully he wouldn't have as many episodes of breathlessness during the day. He also explained that there really isn't anything we can do to make it stronger. Its not the muscle itself, its the nerve. One small problem, we found out the insurance would not cover it! At least not at this time since Carter passed one test. He failed all the others, but because he failed one....no machine!
Then the battle began with insurance companies. At the same time Carter's legs were hurting more and more. Next stop, the neurologist and orthopedic doctors in early December and they both said the same word PROGRESSION. Yep, that nasty word again. We were told that Carter needed surgery and he needed to get AFO's to assist him with walking. We all decided to get second, third, fourth opinions on surgery just to make sure it will benefit him, not hinder him. Carter has been fighting wearing braces since he was diagnosed, but now he has accepted that they will only help him. We are all hoping the braces will help him maneuver stairs better, no more falling down them, and not tripping as much. I hope!
All of this leads us to this point. We just did a sleep study on Saturday which should help us get the bipap machine. Cross your fingers. We went to see an Orthotist to get his braces molded. He will need to have ones for the daytime and ones for night. :( We have a surgery plan but we are still working out the details. Even with insurance the costs are adding up and Zach still has to go in to see if his is progessing. Ugh!!!! Enough on that......can't go there right now.
We are taking one day at a time, loving each other with all our might and fighting this disease with everything we have. IT WILL NOT WIN!
We are trusting in the Lord and we know He will get us through this.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will set your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Until Next Time...................Stay Calm & Enjoy Your Loved Ones
Momma Hayes
Remember "STAY STRONG, BELIEVE"~ Carter Hayes
I touched on it briefly in the previous post. How in October Carter really started to complain about chest pain and like someone was sitting on his chest at times. He felt as though he could not expand his lungs. He would be in the hallway at school with a friend and felt like he couldn't get enough air, he would get lightheaded and feel dizzy. Pressure on his chest. It was happening pretty often. At the same time he was complaining that he would get sharp shooting pains in his chest. Then in November he started to take longer naps after school. Yes, I said nap....side note...People with CMT get fatigued more than us, because they have to exert more energy than us. At the same time he started to have more leg pain, arm pain and foot pain.
After numerous calls, the doctors suggested that we see a cardiologist to check his heart, since he has had chest pain on and off for a few years and it was getting worse. We went to the Cardio doc and he said nope it all checks out. Next stop, my CMT support group! Yah! I posed all of Carter's symptoms to them and low and behold I got a lot of responses back. All pointing me to a pulmonologist. Several of them told me to get him in ASAP, that his phrenic nerve (the nerve that runs from your spinal cord to your diaphragm) might be weakening. My first thought was what? CMT is not supposed to affect your breathing right? Wrong again! I found out that some forms of CMT can affect your breathing and your vocal cords!!!!!! Thank God for my support group and for them recommending a pulmonologist who knows CMT!!
We went to see Dr. V on November 20th and that's when I heard that word, the 4 letter word, PROGRESSION. As Carter and I sat in his office after the tests I remember Dr. V saying unfortunately, Carter's CMT is progressing into his diaphragm. His phrenic nerve is weakening. He is at about 1/2 of what he should be at for a guy his age on some of these tests. To be honest I don't remember how the whole conversation went, I was in shock. All I kept thinking was the diaphragm controls your breathing, your diaphragm controls your breathing, you need it to survive. Then I saw Carter's face and knew right then, I had to pull it together for the both of us. I knew he was scared and quite frankly so was I.
Dr. V told us Carter would benefit from a bipap machine at night. This would allow his diaphragm to rest at night and then he would reap the benefits during the day. He wouldn't feel so tired and hopefully he wouldn't have as many episodes of breathlessness during the day. He also explained that there really isn't anything we can do to make it stronger. Its not the muscle itself, its the nerve. One small problem, we found out the insurance would not cover it! At least not at this time since Carter passed one test. He failed all the others, but because he failed one....no machine!
Then the battle began with insurance companies. At the same time Carter's legs were hurting more and more. Next stop, the neurologist and orthopedic doctors in early December and they both said the same word PROGRESSION. Yep, that nasty word again. We were told that Carter needed surgery and he needed to get AFO's to assist him with walking. We all decided to get second, third, fourth opinions on surgery just to make sure it will benefit him, not hinder him. Carter has been fighting wearing braces since he was diagnosed, but now he has accepted that they will only help him. We are all hoping the braces will help him maneuver stairs better, no more falling down them, and not tripping as much. I hope!
All of this leads us to this point. We just did a sleep study on Saturday which should help us get the bipap machine. Cross your fingers. We went to see an Orthotist to get his braces molded. He will need to have ones for the daytime and ones for night. :( We have a surgery plan but we are still working out the details. Even with insurance the costs are adding up and Zach still has to go in to see if his is progessing. Ugh!!!! Enough on that......can't go there right now.
We are taking one day at a time, loving each other with all our might and fighting this disease with everything we have. IT WILL NOT WIN!
We are trusting in the Lord and we know He will get us through this.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will set your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Until Next Time...................Stay Calm & Enjoy Your Loved Ones
Momma Hayes
Remember "STAY STRONG, BELIEVE"~ Carter Hayes
Monday, February 3, 2014
A Cup 1/2 Full
As I write this today my heart is aching, I just feel overwhelmingly sad today. Not sure why, I just do. I go through these bursts of crying, uncontrollable crying. I seem to be having these moments more and more lately. God and I have been working through some stuff lately. One of them is letting go and the other is not to worry about the future but to live in the present. A lot easier said than done. Right? I think a lot of this uneasiness has to do with the fact that Carter is leaving for college soon and I am scared. Maybe its because over these last 4 months his disease, this horrible rotten disease is taking over. It consumes me. It terrifies me. I want this horrible rotten no good disease to go away! I just want it to stop! Please God make it stop!
" Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: Here I am." Isaiah 58:9
Rewind 4 months. October 2013 Carter really starts to complain of chest pain. He used to complain about it here and there, like when he ran cross country it would happen every now and then. But in late Oct it started to happen weekly. He said he felt like he couldn't get enough air, had sharp shooting pains in his chest, couldn't expand his chest and more fatigued. It was happening often enough that he felt like we needed to see someone about it. So, we began calling doctors and doing research. In November, after seeing a primary, a second opinion, a cardio, a neuro and a pulmonologist we found out the disease had progressed to his diaphragm. YEP you heard correct it spread to his diaphragm, you know that thing that you need to BREATH!!!! Now do you see why Momma Hayes is so distraught. Why I have my days when all I want to do is cry.
Psalm 56:3"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."
Fast forward to the present. Today I had to drive up to Marcus and give him a pain pill. Yesterday I had to watch my son endure pain, trouble breathing and almost pass out in Church. I had to literally put my hand on his back and make sure he did not topple over. As I placed my hand on Carter's back, tears flowing down my face, I asked God for his healing. I asked Him to protect Carter. To keep him strong. After church as we were talking with friends, he said "Mom you need to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future." "I am at peace with my disease and God will never give me more than I can handle." Once again, he looks at the glass 1/2 full, not 1/2 empty. When we get home he reminds me of the essay he wrote earlier in the week for a scholarship. In his conclusion he wrote:
"I have been handed a progressive, incurable disease but I see this disease as a gift in a way. This disease I believe is meant to help keep my strong, along with the people I care about. I believe it is meant to help guide me along the set path The Lord has planned for me and bring me closer to Him. I will always try my best, never give up, always be confident and competitive, never let anyone stand in my way or let anyone or anything bring me down or stop me. Life is a glass half full, I believe your spiritual life and God will fill the rest of the cup. You start off in this world with a cup half full and you decide if the cup ever gets filled to the top." Carter Hayes
Sometimes as a parent instead of you being the teacher, your kids end up teaching you a thing or two. As of lately, I hate to say it but I think Carter is teaching me more than I him. I used to be the one telling him God will never forsake you, He is faithful to you and His love is never ending. Stay strong, don't give up and fight! Now he reminds me of these things. He is reminding me to always, always look at the cup half full and not half empty. He is teaching me that my cup can be filled up to the top and overflowing if I decide to let God do so.
So as tears flow down my cheek today I am reminded that my cup is 1/2 full and I want to fill it up. That it's O.K. to have days like this BUT I need to let go and not worry about the future. Carter is strong and is at peace with his disease, so I need to be strong and at peace with his disease too.
Until Next Time........Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe" ~ Carter Hayes
" Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help and He will say: Here I am." Isaiah 58:9
Rewind 4 months. October 2013 Carter really starts to complain of chest pain. He used to complain about it here and there, like when he ran cross country it would happen every now and then. But in late Oct it started to happen weekly. He said he felt like he couldn't get enough air, had sharp shooting pains in his chest, couldn't expand his chest and more fatigued. It was happening often enough that he felt like we needed to see someone about it. So, we began calling doctors and doing research. In November, after seeing a primary, a second opinion, a cardio, a neuro and a pulmonologist we found out the disease had progressed to his diaphragm. YEP you heard correct it spread to his diaphragm, you know that thing that you need to BREATH!!!! Now do you see why Momma Hayes is so distraught. Why I have my days when all I want to do is cry.
Psalm 56:3"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."
Fast forward to the present. Today I had to drive up to Marcus and give him a pain pill. Yesterday I had to watch my son endure pain, trouble breathing and almost pass out in Church. I had to literally put my hand on his back and make sure he did not topple over. As I placed my hand on Carter's back, tears flowing down my face, I asked God for his healing. I asked Him to protect Carter. To keep him strong. After church as we were talking with friends, he said "Mom you need to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future." "I am at peace with my disease and God will never give me more than I can handle." Once again, he looks at the glass 1/2 full, not 1/2 empty. When we get home he reminds me of the essay he wrote earlier in the week for a scholarship. In his conclusion he wrote:
"I have been handed a progressive, incurable disease but I see this disease as a gift in a way. This disease I believe is meant to help keep my strong, along with the people I care about. I believe it is meant to help guide me along the set path The Lord has planned for me and bring me closer to Him. I will always try my best, never give up, always be confident and competitive, never let anyone stand in my way or let anyone or anything bring me down or stop me. Life is a glass half full, I believe your spiritual life and God will fill the rest of the cup. You start off in this world with a cup half full and you decide if the cup ever gets filled to the top." Carter Hayes
Sometimes as a parent instead of you being the teacher, your kids end up teaching you a thing or two. As of lately, I hate to say it but I think Carter is teaching me more than I him. I used to be the one telling him God will never forsake you, He is faithful to you and His love is never ending. Stay strong, don't give up and fight! Now he reminds me of these things. He is reminding me to always, always look at the cup half full and not half empty. He is teaching me that my cup can be filled up to the top and overflowing if I decide to let God do so.
So as tears flow down my cheek today I am reminded that my cup is 1/2 full and I want to fill it up. That it's O.K. to have days like this BUT I need to let go and not worry about the future. Carter is strong and is at peace with his disease, so I need to be strong and at peace with his disease too.
Until Next Time........Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe" ~ Carter Hayes
Sunday, September 8, 2013
CMT Awareness Month!
Its that time again folks! September is upon us which means a couple of things in this household.
1. Carter's Birthday! This year he will turn 18!
2. CMT AWARENESS MONTH!!!!!
So, what are we doing this year to raise awareness? Well, we wanted to do something different, some thing that could possibly make a big impact. We have done the birthday wish and he has done races to raise awareness, so now its time to try something new. Carter and I thought since he is going into the medical field and taking medical courses this year, what better way to raise awareness than at the source. The source being a medical professional.
We have learned not just through our experience, but from others that a majority of doctors and nurses have no idea what CMT is. Many of them have never heard of it, let alone seen it. And if they have.....they still don't know enough about it. What better way to raise awareness than in the medical field? Where it all starts. The field that needs to know about it in order to properly diagnose. The field that needs to know about it to help research.
Let's start a GRASS ROOTS MOVEMENT, A GRASS ROOTS AWARENESS!
We are starting small but hopefully we will be able grow!
What are we doing?
Carter will be taking into this Practicum Health Clinical Rotation class a brochure on CMT and a poster from CMTA. He is going to talk to his teacher, who is a surgeon, about CMT. He would like to present to the class and show them what CMT looks like. Then when he gets into his clinical rotation hospital he will talk to the docs he comes in contact with about CMT.
We are going to our local pediatrician offices to hang posters and pass out brochures and talk to them about what CMT is and what the signs are. Our pediatrician is on board with this, so I know she will help raise awareness! Our dentist, our eye doc, our physical therapist, any doctor in our area that will listen.
Carter and I are challenging you to do the same in your area. Talk to any and all medical professionals you come in contact with about Charcot Marie Tooth. Give them a pamphlet on it, make a flyer, give them bracelets and tell them the signs and where to find more info on it.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
START A MOVEMENT-A MOVEMENT TO FIND A CURE ONE STEP AT A TIME!
Until next time....................Speak up and make a difference!
Momma Hayes & Carter Hayes ~ "Stay Strong, Believe"
1. Carter's Birthday! This year he will turn 18!
2. CMT AWARENESS MONTH!!!!!
So, what are we doing this year to raise awareness? Well, we wanted to do something different, some thing that could possibly make a big impact. We have done the birthday wish and he has done races to raise awareness, so now its time to try something new. Carter and I thought since he is going into the medical field and taking medical courses this year, what better way to raise awareness than at the source. The source being a medical professional.
We have learned not just through our experience, but from others that a majority of doctors and nurses have no idea what CMT is. Many of them have never heard of it, let alone seen it. And if they have.....they still don't know enough about it. What better way to raise awareness than in the medical field? Where it all starts. The field that needs to know about it in order to properly diagnose. The field that needs to know about it to help research.
Let's start a GRASS ROOTS MOVEMENT, A GRASS ROOTS AWARENESS!
We are starting small but hopefully we will be able grow!
What are we doing?
Carter will be taking into this Practicum Health Clinical Rotation class a brochure on CMT and a poster from CMTA. He is going to talk to his teacher, who is a surgeon, about CMT. He would like to present to the class and show them what CMT looks like. Then when he gets into his clinical rotation hospital he will talk to the docs he comes in contact with about CMT.
We are going to our local pediatrician offices to hang posters and pass out brochures and talk to them about what CMT is and what the signs are. Our pediatrician is on board with this, so I know she will help raise awareness! Our dentist, our eye doc, our physical therapist, any doctor in our area that will listen.
Carter and I are challenging you to do the same in your area. Talk to any and all medical professionals you come in contact with about Charcot Marie Tooth. Give them a pamphlet on it, make a flyer, give them bracelets and tell them the signs and where to find more info on it.
MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
START A MOVEMENT-A MOVEMENT TO FIND A CURE ONE STEP AT A TIME!
Until next time....................Speak up and make a difference!
Momma Hayes & Carter Hayes ~ "Stay Strong, Believe"
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
UT Southwestern Update
Just wanted to give an update on our visit to UT Southwestern last month. Carter and I arrived at UT Southwestern on August 6th bright and early at 7 a.m. We finally got to meet Dr. Nations and her wonderful staff. I believe we have found a group of Docs who not only know about CMT but actually care and have a great bedside manner. So, for all my Dallas or Texas peeps go check out Dr. Sharon Nations or Dr. Trevedi at UT Southwestern in Dallas.
We of course had to go through all the standard questions and a complete physical check up all over again to compare to what Scottish Rite had. Afterwards we were sent to get an EMG and a NCV done. Real quick for those of you who are new I will explain what a EMG and NCV are. EMG stands for electromyography which measure the electrical activity going through the muscle when it is at rest and when it contracts. A NCV stands for nerve conduction velocity which tests to see how fast electrical signals travel through a nerve. It is not fun..... Carter was not to happy about this. He was already in pain just from the exam and showing them how he walks and so forth. But as usual, he didn't complain and made it through it. Dr. Trivedi gave the EMG and NCV, so we were able to meet her as well and LOVED her. Mom on the other hand had a harder time. Now matter how you slice it, it just does not get any easier seeing your child go through these tests.
After all the testing we met with both Dr. Nations and Dr. Trivedi and they both concluded that he has CMT most likely CMT 2, just like what Scottish Rite said. They said he has progressed since the last test in 2010. Which I already knew to be honest. Since he is in a lot more pain and can't sleep at night due to the pain, they prescribed him Gabapentin. I was very apprehensive at first to give him a pain pill but they assured me it was non habit forming and has little side effects. Carter has been on it for almost a month now and so far so good. It has really helped him get a more restful night of sleep. The only downside is the fatigue it causes, toppled with the fatigue from just having CMT makes for one tired Carter!
Overall, the visit was great and we were very happy with her plan. We are starting physical therapy again to see if there is anyway to help lengthen the Achilles without surgery. She is not optimistic about it, so we are also looking for an Orthopedic Surgeon to evaluate his situation. If anyone knows of one in the Dallas area send me a message please!
Until next time......................"Stay Strong, Believe"
Momma Hayes over and out!
We of course had to go through all the standard questions and a complete physical check up all over again to compare to what Scottish Rite had. Afterwards we were sent to get an EMG and a NCV done. Real quick for those of you who are new I will explain what a EMG and NCV are. EMG stands for electromyography which measure the electrical activity going through the muscle when it is at rest and when it contracts. A NCV stands for nerve conduction velocity which tests to see how fast electrical signals travel through a nerve. It is not fun..... Carter was not to happy about this. He was already in pain just from the exam and showing them how he walks and so forth. But as usual, he didn't complain and made it through it. Dr. Trivedi gave the EMG and NCV, so we were able to meet her as well and LOVED her. Mom on the other hand had a harder time. Now matter how you slice it, it just does not get any easier seeing your child go through these tests.
After all the testing we met with both Dr. Nations and Dr. Trivedi and they both concluded that he has CMT most likely CMT 2, just like what Scottish Rite said. They said he has progressed since the last test in 2010. Which I already knew to be honest. Since he is in a lot more pain and can't sleep at night due to the pain, they prescribed him Gabapentin. I was very apprehensive at first to give him a pain pill but they assured me it was non habit forming and has little side effects. Carter has been on it for almost a month now and so far so good. It has really helped him get a more restful night of sleep. The only downside is the fatigue it causes, toppled with the fatigue from just having CMT makes for one tired Carter!
Overall, the visit was great and we were very happy with her plan. We are starting physical therapy again to see if there is anyway to help lengthen the Achilles without surgery. She is not optimistic about it, so we are also looking for an Orthopedic Surgeon to evaluate his situation. If anyone knows of one in the Dallas area send me a message please!
Until next time......................"Stay Strong, Believe"
Momma Hayes over and out!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
For nothing is impossible with GOD- Luke 1:37
First let me start out by say a gigantic CONGRATULATIONS to Carter! He has been accepted to the UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS! This was his number 1 choice. He did really like Arkansas but after he got the acceptance from KU there was no doubt where he was going. He said I just know this is where I am supposed to be. I am so proud of him and super excited about his journey.
The one thing we have all learned in this journey of ours is nothing is impossible with God! If you don't believe that I am telling ya, you really should. We are a perfect example of it. Two of my boys were diagnosed with CMT within a month of each other and then 7 months later boom, my mom diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoid cancer. Did any of us give up? NO, not for a minute, because when you have faith you know without a doubt HE will get you through even your darkest moments. Don't get me wrong there were times when I was struggling with it all but I always came around. He did get us through just look at what has happened, Carter is now accepted into his dream school, Zach is getting ready to play football and my mom has made it past the 1 year mark and plugging along.
To be honest when Carter was diagnosed with CMT and his dreams were shattered I really did not know what to expect. I knew he was strong and faithful, much more than myself at that time, but I really worried about his future. I saw how he struggled with his new diagnosis and school. His sophomore year really took a toll on him but he never lost faith and never gave up. He stayed strong and persevered. His dedication and hard work paid off! He truly deserves his acceptance letters and any school is lucky to have him! But he is now officially a JAYHAWK!!!
For all you CMTer's out there who are still in high school or middle school DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! You can achieve if you believe. You will have to work hard, push through pain and sometimes fall but it will all be worth it. Any school would be lucky to have any of you, each of you have something special to offer. Just remember..........................."STAY STRONG, BELIEVE"
ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK-
MOMMA HAYES OR MOMMA JAYHAWK? :)
The one thing we have all learned in this journey of ours is nothing is impossible with God! If you don't believe that I am telling ya, you really should. We are a perfect example of it. Two of my boys were diagnosed with CMT within a month of each other and then 7 months later boom, my mom diagnosed with stage 4 carcinoid cancer. Did any of us give up? NO, not for a minute, because when you have faith you know without a doubt HE will get you through even your darkest moments. Don't get me wrong there were times when I was struggling with it all but I always came around. He did get us through just look at what has happened, Carter is now accepted into his dream school, Zach is getting ready to play football and my mom has made it past the 1 year mark and plugging along.
To be honest when Carter was diagnosed with CMT and his dreams were shattered I really did not know what to expect. I knew he was strong and faithful, much more than myself at that time, but I really worried about his future. I saw how he struggled with his new diagnosis and school. His sophomore year really took a toll on him but he never lost faith and never gave up. He stayed strong and persevered. His dedication and hard work paid off! He truly deserves his acceptance letters and any school is lucky to have him! But he is now officially a JAYHAWK!!!
For all you CMTer's out there who are still in high school or middle school DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! You can achieve if you believe. You will have to work hard, push through pain and sometimes fall but it will all be worth it. Any school would be lucky to have any of you, each of you have something special to offer. Just remember..........................."STAY STRONG, BELIEVE"
ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK-
MOMMA HAYES OR MOMMA JAYHAWK? :)
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart!
The past couple of weeks I have had some challenges appear and some decisions to make. In fact, as I am writing this I am dealing with one of those challenges now. The challenge of putting the words down and making them real. The words "I will not be able to ever go into the military." I now know this will never happen. See, a part of me always dreamt of it still happening, so I really held onto the thought in the back of my mind. I know, I know it sounds nuts with my CMT, but I thought maybe if I get the surgery they'll let me in. Well, now I know they will not. This all started when my mom received a call from a Navy Recruiter last week. Instead of saying he's not interested anymore, she said she just had to know without a doubt that I could not be in the military. She wanted to know once and for all if I could join or not. So she could help me let it go once and for all.
She told the guy everything that had happened, explained CMT, possible surgery, just everything! She laid it all out so there would be no misconceptions on any ones part. He of course had never heard of Charcot Marie Tooth disease and of course assumed it had to do with the teeth! Ugh! Long story short he told her there was a 95% chance that I would not pass the physical even after surgery. Plus, because it is a progressive disease with no cure that alone would most likely disqualify me.
Which brings me to the conversation of were my mom told me what the Navy Recruiter said and me coming to the final conclusion that the military is not in my future. It is NOT what HE has planned for me. Trust in the LORD with all your heart! Now I am moving forward completely and letting it finally go. Challenge number 1 completed!
Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart. Every time I hit the submit button on a college application I say " It's all in HIS hands". In fact, when I was filling out an application the other day, I realized the school was not for me. I was looking at this school because of someone else, not for me. I made the decision not to apply and I feel really good about it. I know HE will lead me to the right school for me and on the correct path for my future. Decision made!
My second challenge and decision are hand in hand. Due to pain in my legs lately I have not been able to run with the Cross Country team as much as I would like. I have had to cut it back to one or two days and sometimes not at all. So this has set me back in the running portion of my tri training. I have come to realize that there are just going to be days when I just have to rest. Then when I finally started to feel better what happens? I go out with the CC guys for an all out air soft war game and get poison ivy. Oh yeah! Not just a little I am talking major! It just sucks! I have it really bad in between my fingers on my right hand. Thank GOD I am left handed. After 5 days of pure pain and itching I went to the Dr. to get medicine since the calamine lotion and other stuff just wasn't cutting it. Now I am at least able to sleep at night. Challenge & decision completed.
Today my swim coach kicked my #$#! He has been out of town on vaca and I have been busy visiting colleges, so this is the first time in 3 weeks or so that I have had training. I was supposed to train while he was gone but between the pain in my legs and college visits I just didn't swim. So once again I paid the price. Mental note to self don't ever take swimming lightly and don't ever underestimate the power of Coach Will!
Some days are harder than others and you just have to remember to stay strong and believe. You will have bad days when your body just won't let you do what you want but DO NOT beat yourself up about it! Sometimes dreams are squashed but then new ones are created. Sometimes you feel like your peddling up hill the whole day but TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART and the downward incline will happen.
Until Next Time............I think you all know what I am going to say......
Carter
"Stay Strong, Believe"
p.s. I leave for Arkansas next week with my mom and NANA! Catch ya all on the flip side!
She told the guy everything that had happened, explained CMT, possible surgery, just everything! She laid it all out so there would be no misconceptions on any ones part. He of course had never heard of Charcot Marie Tooth disease and of course assumed it had to do with the teeth! Ugh! Long story short he told her there was a 95% chance that I would not pass the physical even after surgery. Plus, because it is a progressive disease with no cure that alone would most likely disqualify me.
Which brings me to the conversation of were my mom told me what the Navy Recruiter said and me coming to the final conclusion that the military is not in my future. It is NOT what HE has planned for me. Trust in the LORD with all your heart! Now I am moving forward completely and letting it finally go. Challenge number 1 completed!
Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart. Every time I hit the submit button on a college application I say " It's all in HIS hands". In fact, when I was filling out an application the other day, I realized the school was not for me. I was looking at this school because of someone else, not for me. I made the decision not to apply and I feel really good about it. I know HE will lead me to the right school for me and on the correct path for my future. Decision made!
My second challenge and decision are hand in hand. Due to pain in my legs lately I have not been able to run with the Cross Country team as much as I would like. I have had to cut it back to one or two days and sometimes not at all. So this has set me back in the running portion of my tri training. I have come to realize that there are just going to be days when I just have to rest. Then when I finally started to feel better what happens? I go out with the CC guys for an all out air soft war game and get poison ivy. Oh yeah! Not just a little I am talking major! It just sucks! I have it really bad in between my fingers on my right hand. Thank GOD I am left handed. After 5 days of pure pain and itching I went to the Dr. to get medicine since the calamine lotion and other stuff just wasn't cutting it. Now I am at least able to sleep at night. Challenge & decision completed.
Today my swim coach kicked my #$#! He has been out of town on vaca and I have been busy visiting colleges, so this is the first time in 3 weeks or so that I have had training. I was supposed to train while he was gone but between the pain in my legs and college visits I just didn't swim. So once again I paid the price. Mental note to self don't ever take swimming lightly and don't ever underestimate the power of Coach Will!
Some days are harder than others and you just have to remember to stay strong and believe. You will have bad days when your body just won't let you do what you want but DO NOT beat yourself up about it! Sometimes dreams are squashed but then new ones are created. Sometimes you feel like your peddling up hill the whole day but TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART and the downward incline will happen.
Until Next Time............I think you all know what I am going to say......
Carter
"Stay Strong, Believe"
p.s. I leave for Arkansas next week with my mom and NANA! Catch ya all on the flip side!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Great News UT Southwestern will take Carter's CMT case! Whoot Whoot!
Let me first start off with some quick updates and then I will tell you about UT Southwestern! My mom was not able to make it down the week of June 17th. So we ended up not going to Arkansas but to Stephen F Austin since it is a lot closer. We had an amazing private tour of the Observatory! We were able to see the moon, Saturn, Venus and stars! The boys loved it and boy did they feel special. Last Friday we went on a tour of the campus and it is beautiful. Lots of trees! But, Carter has decided it is not a place for him. It is just not a good fit with the area, size and pre-med.
So now we are off to University of Arkansas on July 10th and 11th. My mom is coming down to tag along with us. She is super excited to go on a college visit with her oldest grandson. We have decided to Zach along with us, so it will be my mom, Carter, Zach and of course little ole me. Ayden is staying back with daddy and Ms. Holly(his pre-k teacher). We will let you all know how it goes at Arkansas. They have us scheduled for a full day tour and Carter gets to meet with the Pre-Med Department! Yeah!
Now for the great news! As many of you know we have struggled with finding a Dr. who knows and treats CMT. We did try Scottish Rite but the Dr. was not a good fit. So after lots of research and help from my CMT Facebook friends we found one! Yes, I said Facebook, who would have ever thought how connecting with fellow CMTers on Facebook would be such an incredible resource. Several CMT patients recommended looking into UT Southwestern's Neurology Department, specifically Dr. Sharon Nations and Dr. Jaya Trevedi. After much research, lots of paperwork and help from no other than Kim Bookout ( I owe her my next born child or something like that), I received a call saying they will take Carter's case! THANK THE LORD!
Our appointment is scheduled for August 6th and Carter will have another EMG that day to compare to his last one in 2011. I know he is not looking forward to that but I am anxious to see how much it has progressed. I am so thankful he was able to get in before school. He has been having a lot of pain lately and his Achilles heal is really bothering him too. I hate to see him in pain....He doesn't complain about it but I can tell when he is in pain. He is so strong and such a fighter! Wish I was more like him. LOL Anyway, anxious to see what her approach to CMT is. We would really like to have surgery, the braces just are not helping. We will see what she has to say and we will definitely keep you all informed.
Well gotta run! Carter has Bible class tonight and he has a flat tire! :( So I am dropping them off!
Until next time..................Shoot for the stars!
Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe" ~ Carter Hayes
So now we are off to University of Arkansas on July 10th and 11th. My mom is coming down to tag along with us. She is super excited to go on a college visit with her oldest grandson. We have decided to Zach along with us, so it will be my mom, Carter, Zach and of course little ole me. Ayden is staying back with daddy and Ms. Holly(his pre-k teacher). We will let you all know how it goes at Arkansas. They have us scheduled for a full day tour and Carter gets to meet with the Pre-Med Department! Yeah!
Now for the great news! As many of you know we have struggled with finding a Dr. who knows and treats CMT. We did try Scottish Rite but the Dr. was not a good fit. So after lots of research and help from my CMT Facebook friends we found one! Yes, I said Facebook, who would have ever thought how connecting with fellow CMTers on Facebook would be such an incredible resource. Several CMT patients recommended looking into UT Southwestern's Neurology Department, specifically Dr. Sharon Nations and Dr. Jaya Trevedi. After much research, lots of paperwork and help from no other than Kim Bookout ( I owe her my next born child or something like that), I received a call saying they will take Carter's case! THANK THE LORD!
Our appointment is scheduled for August 6th and Carter will have another EMG that day to compare to his last one in 2011. I know he is not looking forward to that but I am anxious to see how much it has progressed. I am so thankful he was able to get in before school. He has been having a lot of pain lately and his Achilles heal is really bothering him too. I hate to see him in pain....He doesn't complain about it but I can tell when he is in pain. He is so strong and such a fighter! Wish I was more like him. LOL Anyway, anxious to see what her approach to CMT is. We would really like to have surgery, the braces just are not helping. We will see what she has to say and we will definitely keep you all informed.
Well gotta run! Carter has Bible class tonight and he has a flat tire! :( So I am dropping them off!
Until next time..................Shoot for the stars!
Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe" ~ Carter Hayes
Monday, June 17, 2013
Summertime! Training,training, volunteering and college visits! OH YEAH!
So glad its summertime, get to hang with my friends, apply for college, train and train some more! At least that is what I thought I was going to do but when I was out with my friends one night I injured my knee. Its badly bruised and when I stand for long periods it really bothers me. Surprisingly, it doesn't feel so bad when I run. I am running with my Cross Country boys when I can but my schedule is pretty tight right now with my volunteering work, visiting colleges, college applications and other commitments.
As for my volunteering/internship, yes I am lucky that Kim is taking me under her wing and allowing me to shadow her this summer at her practice, Pediatric Health Partners. Its been a great experience and I am learning so much. I am there Monday and Friday's 8:30-5 and Tuesdays 8:30 to 1 p.m. I really like getting to see the kids and her staff is simply, THE BEST! I am really blessed to have them all in my life and grateful for their advice and mentoring. I will say the one thing I learned is....I need to find me some good shoes! My running shoes are not working so well for me. Standing on my feet all day is a challenge for me with my CMT, so needless to say I need to find a good pair of work shoes! My mom has done some research on what docs and nurses wear and a lot of them wear either Crocs or New Balance. So we will see, not a big Crocs fan just don't like the way they look, but if they are super comfy then maybe.
As for my training well lets just say between my injury, volunteering and college stuff I am behind. My swim coach has been on vaca for the last 2 weeks, so I have not had a hard core swim workout since he has left. I don't even want to think about how brutal my workout will be with him on the 24th when he gets back. Will, my swim coach, does not like it if I slack off while he is away. His idea of slacking off is swimming 5 days a week! Crazy! Anyway, I actually am looking forward to him coming back and whipping me into shape!
I am behind not just in swimming but in all my training. I am not making excuses but the heat is a killer. See here in Texas if you are not done with your workout by like 8 am you are going to roast like a marshmallow. I am not kidding by 9 or 10 you are usually in the high 80's and by noon your are definitely in the 90's. Then you add in the humidity and forget it! I have been choosing to run in the morning (when I can my feet have been a challenge) and sometimes I just have other commitments so I am not able to do either. I do however need to change this as I am way behind in my training.
This week I leave for Nacgodoches, Texas. I am headed there to take a look at Stephen F Austin State University. Then we might swing by Baylor University on our way home. Pretty excited about going to see both colleges actually. I am sure my mom would like it if I chose a school in Texas, so I will be close to home, but I just want to find the school that is a great fit for me. We will see what SFA is all about, not really sure about their pre-med program but that is what this tour is for right? Really looking forward to Thursday night when we get to see the Observatory at night! Since I want to major in Physics or Astronomy they are giving me a tour at night where we will be able to see the night starts. Did you know Stephen F Austin has the second largest Observatory in Texas and the Central Time Zone? Pretty cool. I'll let you all know how it goes and if I make it to Baylor.
Well gotta run lunch break is over! Time to go see the little kiddos at PHP.
Until Next Time.............................TRAIN, TRAIN AND HAVE FUN!
Carter
"Stay Strong, Believe"
As for my volunteering/internship, yes I am lucky that Kim is taking me under her wing and allowing me to shadow her this summer at her practice, Pediatric Health Partners. Its been a great experience and I am learning so much. I am there Monday and Friday's 8:30-5 and Tuesdays 8:30 to 1 p.m. I really like getting to see the kids and her staff is simply, THE BEST! I am really blessed to have them all in my life and grateful for their advice and mentoring. I will say the one thing I learned is....I need to find me some good shoes! My running shoes are not working so well for me. Standing on my feet all day is a challenge for me with my CMT, so needless to say I need to find a good pair of work shoes! My mom has done some research on what docs and nurses wear and a lot of them wear either Crocs or New Balance. So we will see, not a big Crocs fan just don't like the way they look, but if they are super comfy then maybe.
As for my training well lets just say between my injury, volunteering and college stuff I am behind. My swim coach has been on vaca for the last 2 weeks, so I have not had a hard core swim workout since he has left. I don't even want to think about how brutal my workout will be with him on the 24th when he gets back. Will, my swim coach, does not like it if I slack off while he is away. His idea of slacking off is swimming 5 days a week! Crazy! Anyway, I actually am looking forward to him coming back and whipping me into shape!
I am behind not just in swimming but in all my training. I am not making excuses but the heat is a killer. See here in Texas if you are not done with your workout by like 8 am you are going to roast like a marshmallow. I am not kidding by 9 or 10 you are usually in the high 80's and by noon your are definitely in the 90's. Then you add in the humidity and forget it! I have been choosing to run in the morning (when I can my feet have been a challenge) and sometimes I just have other commitments so I am not able to do either. I do however need to change this as I am way behind in my training.
This week I leave for Nacgodoches, Texas. I am headed there to take a look at Stephen F Austin State University. Then we might swing by Baylor University on our way home. Pretty excited about going to see both colleges actually. I am sure my mom would like it if I chose a school in Texas, so I will be close to home, but I just want to find the school that is a great fit for me. We will see what SFA is all about, not really sure about their pre-med program but that is what this tour is for right? Really looking forward to Thursday night when we get to see the Observatory at night! Since I want to major in Physics or Astronomy they are giving me a tour at night where we will be able to see the night starts. Did you know Stephen F Austin has the second largest Observatory in Texas and the Central Time Zone? Pretty cool. I'll let you all know how it goes and if I make it to Baylor.
Well gotta run lunch break is over! Time to go see the little kiddos at PHP.
Until Next Time.............................TRAIN, TRAIN AND HAVE FUN!
Carter
"Stay Strong, Believe"
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
I can't believe JUNIOR YEAR is almost over!
It is starting to hit me like a freight train, Carter will be leaving to go to college this time next year! To be honest it really started when Carter and I drove up to KU, University of Kansas, on May 2nd. Carter is looking at several colleges but he really does have a soft spot for KU now that we visited. It truly is beautiful up there and very hilly(which scares me with his CMT) shh don't tell him.:) BUT they have a great Med program, pharmacy program, full of traditions, cycling club (which we got to meet the president of) and they have a program that would help him if his CMT got real bad! Which really put my mind at ease.
Our KU admissions rep Jon did an outstanding job showing us around and really went the extra mile. He too was a pre-med student and actually knew about CMT!!!!! HUGE BONUS! He told us that they have a shuttle for students that break their leg or have a disability, were it will pick them up from their dorm and take them to their classes. Carter would give him/her his schedule and they would be there waiting for him and take him to his next destination! SUPER COOL! Plus they put in pathways all over campus that would allow him to get up the hill without using the stairs. Jon set it up so we did a campus tour, housing tour and he even drove us around campus and showed us downtown Lawrence. Overall, it was an amazing trip and we both fell in love with KU. I think I cried the whole time we were there! LOL I am such a baby when it comes to my baby.:)
Now we have 8 days left of the Junior year and we will be applying and visiting campuses all summer. Next stop is SFA (Stephen F Austin) which is here in Texas, no not in Austin, it is in Nacogdoches. It is about 4-4.5 hrs away so not too far from home. We will be visiting them the week of June 18th! We will let ya know how it goes! They too have a good pre-med program, cycling club and a really good physics and astronomy program. Carter wants to go to become a doctor, a general surgeon to be exact, so he is choosing physics as his major and astronomy as a possible minor. SFA has the second largest Observatory in Texas and the Central Time Zone! Pretty cool! Carter is really looking forward to the tour and he is very excited because his Nana will be taking him! Yep, my mom really wants to experience seeing her oldest grandson visit a college so she is flying in that week. Crazy cause she was just here on the week of May 7th, she came down before her visit to her oncologist in Louisiana. Anyway, we will see what he thinks of SFA.
Then we will be off to see the University of Arkansas. Which believe it or not is only 5-5.5 hours away. Not bad. They too have a great pre-med program, physics program and he knows people that go there and are looking to go there. So that would be nice. Plus they too have a cycling club and full of traditions too!
I know a lot of people think I am crazy for being so emotional and worrying but they don't have a child with a disease that has no cure and progresses. I know he will be fine cause that is just who he is. He doesn't give up, fights hard for what he wants and doesn't let his CMT get in the way. However, as a mom I worry about him being so far away from home and that his disease will progress. It has been pretty good but lately he is complaining more and more about his left leg. It is really tight and we have noticed that he is loosing muscle in his feet. Muscle atrophy in his feet and lower calf is progressing. Really hoping the stretches the physical therapist gave him and his leg braces will help. He is using the braces again and is able to wear them longer and longer as each day goes by. Praying they will help.
Of course do you think this is stopping him from planning his next triathlon? NO!!!! His swim coach is pushing him hard and he says it feels good in the pool, no pain. :) He wants to do one more tri this summer, we haven't found one yet that works into the schedule but I am sure he will find one.
We will keep you all posted on the college journey. Any advice from fellow CMTers?
Until Next Time..................Cherish the moments you have with you kids because time flies by so very fast and the next thing you know your sending them off to college! :(
Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe"~Carter Hayes
Our KU admissions rep Jon did an outstanding job showing us around and really went the extra mile. He too was a pre-med student and actually knew about CMT!!!!! HUGE BONUS! He told us that they have a shuttle for students that break their leg or have a disability, were it will pick them up from their dorm and take them to their classes. Carter would give him/her his schedule and they would be there waiting for him and take him to his next destination! SUPER COOL! Plus they put in pathways all over campus that would allow him to get up the hill without using the stairs. Jon set it up so we did a campus tour, housing tour and he even drove us around campus and showed us downtown Lawrence. Overall, it was an amazing trip and we both fell in love with KU. I think I cried the whole time we were there! LOL I am such a baby when it comes to my baby.:)
Now we have 8 days left of the Junior year and we will be applying and visiting campuses all summer. Next stop is SFA (Stephen F Austin) which is here in Texas, no not in Austin, it is in Nacogdoches. It is about 4-4.5 hrs away so not too far from home. We will be visiting them the week of June 18th! We will let ya know how it goes! They too have a good pre-med program, cycling club and a really good physics and astronomy program. Carter wants to go to become a doctor, a general surgeon to be exact, so he is choosing physics as his major and astronomy as a possible minor. SFA has the second largest Observatory in Texas and the Central Time Zone! Pretty cool! Carter is really looking forward to the tour and he is very excited because his Nana will be taking him! Yep, my mom really wants to experience seeing her oldest grandson visit a college so she is flying in that week. Crazy cause she was just here on the week of May 7th, she came down before her visit to her oncologist in Louisiana. Anyway, we will see what he thinks of SFA.
Then we will be off to see the University of Arkansas. Which believe it or not is only 5-5.5 hours away. Not bad. They too have a great pre-med program, physics program and he knows people that go there and are looking to go there. So that would be nice. Plus they too have a cycling club and full of traditions too!
I know a lot of people think I am crazy for being so emotional and worrying but they don't have a child with a disease that has no cure and progresses. I know he will be fine cause that is just who he is. He doesn't give up, fights hard for what he wants and doesn't let his CMT get in the way. However, as a mom I worry about him being so far away from home and that his disease will progress. It has been pretty good but lately he is complaining more and more about his left leg. It is really tight and we have noticed that he is loosing muscle in his feet. Muscle atrophy in his feet and lower calf is progressing. Really hoping the stretches the physical therapist gave him and his leg braces will help. He is using the braces again and is able to wear them longer and longer as each day goes by. Praying they will help.
Of course do you think this is stopping him from planning his next triathlon? NO!!!! His swim coach is pushing him hard and he says it feels good in the pool, no pain. :) He wants to do one more tri this summer, we haven't found one yet that works into the schedule but I am sure he will find one.
We will keep you all posted on the college journey. Any advice from fellow CMTers?
Until Next Time..................Cherish the moments you have with you kids because time flies by so very fast and the next thing you know your sending them off to college! :(
Momma Hayes
"Stay Strong, Believe"~Carter Hayes
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)