The past couple of weeks I have had some challenges appear and some decisions to make. In fact, as I am writing this I am dealing with one of those challenges now. The challenge of putting the words down and making them real. The words "I will not be able to ever go into the military." I now know this will never happen. See, a part of me always dreamt of it still happening, so I really held onto the thought in the back of my mind. I know, I know it sounds nuts with my CMT, but I thought maybe if I get the surgery they'll let me in. Well, now I know they will not. This all started when my mom received a call from a Navy Recruiter last week. Instead of saying he's not interested anymore, she said she just had to know without a doubt that I could not be in the military. She wanted to know once and for all if I could join or not. So she could help me let it go once and for all.
She told the guy everything that had happened, explained CMT, possible surgery, just everything! She laid it all out so there would be no misconceptions on any ones part. He of course had never heard of Charcot Marie Tooth disease and of course assumed it had to do with the teeth! Ugh! Long story short he told her there was a 95% chance that I would not pass the physical even after surgery. Plus, because it is a progressive disease with no cure that alone would most likely disqualify me.
Which brings me to the conversation of were my mom told me what the Navy Recruiter said and me coming to the final conclusion that the military is not in my future. It is NOT what HE has planned for me. Trust in the LORD with all your heart! Now I am moving forward completely and letting it finally go. Challenge number 1 completed!
Trust in the LORD with ALL your heart. Every time I hit the submit button on a college application I say " It's all in HIS hands". In fact, when I was filling out an application the other day, I realized the school was not for me. I was looking at this school because of someone else, not for me. I made the decision not to apply and I feel really good about it. I know HE will lead me to the right school for me and on the correct path for my future. Decision made!
My second challenge and decision are hand in hand. Due to pain in my legs lately I have not been able to run with the Cross Country team as much as I would like. I have had to cut it back to one or two days and sometimes not at all. So this has set me back in the running portion of my tri training. I have come to realize that there are just going to be days when I just have to rest. Then when I finally started to feel better what happens? I go out with the CC guys for an all out air soft war game and get poison ivy. Oh yeah! Not just a little I am talking major! It just sucks! I have it really bad in between my fingers on my right hand. Thank GOD I am left handed. After 5 days of pure pain and itching I went to the Dr. to get medicine since the calamine lotion and other stuff just wasn't cutting it. Now I am at least able to sleep at night. Challenge & decision completed.
Today my swim coach kicked my #$#! He has been out of town on vaca and I have been busy visiting colleges, so this is the first time in 3 weeks or so that I have had training. I was supposed to train while he was gone but between the pain in my legs and college visits I just didn't swim. So once again I paid the price. Mental note to self don't ever take swimming lightly and don't ever underestimate the power of Coach Will!
Some days are harder than others and you just have to remember to stay strong and believe. You will have bad days when your body just won't let you do what you want but DO NOT beat yourself up about it! Sometimes dreams are squashed but then new ones are created. Sometimes you feel like your peddling up hill the whole day but TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART and the downward incline will happen.
Until Next Time............I think you all know what I am going to say......
Carter
"Stay Strong, Believe"
p.s. I leave for Arkansas next week with my mom and NANA! Catch ya all on the flip side!
